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Lydia's Story

I felt like I had found a lifeline after contacting the Icarus trust and receiving an e-mail back saying I could speak to a counsellor about my situation.

I felt like I had found a lifeline after contacting the Icarus trust and receiving an e-mail back saying I could speak to a counsellor about my situation.

The situation I have found myself in is one that has taken a while to manifest and when I look back lots of past events are pieces of a jigsaw that all fit into place and things make ‘sense’.  My husband is an alcoholic. He claims he is in recovery but at times I seriously question that. He was a ‘functioning alcoholic’ but over time the ‘functioning’ part stopped. He has been arrested for drink driving, lost his job as a head teacher and has moved out of the family home. Over time he has stolen my purse and ran up massive credit card bills leaving me worried sick and having sleepless nights wondering where me and my two children will sleep if we lose our home due to his inability to look after money and stop drinking.

The lies he tells and complete denial he seems to be in are heart breaking. He claims he has sought help and if he has stopped drinking I doubt very much that he is ‘equipped’ to deal with temptation when it comes his way.

He is not a bad man but he is an addict and tragically the alcohol always comes first. I’m sure he does love me and the children but it doesn’t feel like that at times when the fear grips me regarding what the future holds.

I have had to find work as before I had been fortunate to be a stop-at-home Mum. The job will give me ‘choices’ and keep a roof over our heads.

Sadly I struggle to see a future for me and my husband as husband and wife. I do still love him but he isn’t changing and I can’t continue to live this life of uncertainty and fear all the time. The children and myself have to come first.

I have spoken to Malcolm from the Icarus trust weekly over the past four weeks and it has helped me immensely. My family are amazing but struggle to see things from my husband’s side as they see the heart ache and worry his alcoholism puts me through. Malcolm listens and doesn’t stand in judgement and I always feel better for ‘chewing’ things over with him. I feel so very lucky that I have him to talk to and whatever I say I don’t feel judged. In time when my finances aren’t in such a mess I intend to donate to the Icarus trust to help others who like me need someone like Malcolm to talk to.