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Sue's story
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Sue's Story

This relates to a middle class well educated family with children at private school. He had a successful ‘artisan’ business and an attractive wife who had worked helping her husband in his business but also focusing on her children.

Sue was one of the first to come into Icarus. She immediately found the ‘family friend’ sympathetic and supportive. They developed a rapport.

The husband had drifted into depression and alcoholism. Despite having a full order book the business was collapsing. He was in denial, refusing professional help, unable to work much of the time and blaming his wife for not contributing more financially. However, they were profoundly co-dependent.
She was at her wits end. The children were very aware of how bad things had become. They were starting to show signs of psychological and academic strain. Sue’s confidence and self esteem had steadily been eroded. She no longer knew which way to turn, had become depressed and approached a full breakdown.

Initially, speaking to a family friend was a lifeline when Sue felt that she was all alone and could speak to nobody. She felt supported and guided. She was shown the various possibilities.

She was then offered some telephone conversations with our psychotherapist who further clarified, supported and unlike the family friend was able to advise.

It might be said that our work (as in the case of most others) fell into 3 main categories. First of all getting it off her chest and having someone to communicate with was very helpful in itself. She no longer felt alone. Second, she was shown that she had choices when she thought that she had none. This gave her some hope when she had none. There was a way forward when there had not been one.Finally It helped her understanding herself, why she is who she is and does what she does, looking at changes but also coming to terms with the limitations of how much she can change herself, how she feels and the situation.

She was one of the lucky ones and was able to get local help.

Sue eventually was able to communicate differently with her husband, She could become more assertive rather than nagging or withdrawing into herself. She dealt better with her children and was able eventually to get Paul to overcome his fear (disguised as denial!) and join her in therapy (all be it initially under the auspices of helping her)
He joined an AA group and managed to persevere with attendance without becoming obsessed. He had to overcome a number of obstacles including guilt, low self esteem, his inclination to replace alcohol with marijuana or even pain killers and his jealousy and belief that Sue had had an affair.
Sue is now doing much better but continues to struggle with her resentment, confidence and fears.
This, as in all cases, is for them, a work in progress.